Let Me Start Again

* This post was meant to be published back in early December 2015, but blogging had to take a backseat with everything going on. Read on and you'll find out why :) *

Whew! I can't believe that I'm publishing a brand new entry to my blog after almost a year! It's been a while. And if you look at the last post below, CHANGES is an understatement. 2015 has been a game changer year for our small family. Both the good and the bad.

I got pregnant

I'm a firm believer that the Lord is always listening. He knows what's in our heart of hearts and he will grant our wishes as He sees fit. Again, we were not planning on it. But I must have been unconsciously praying for a new baby. I remember it being always on my mind. I would always find myself thinking that my heart has more than enough room for another one. Matt's sibling. And without directly praying for it, He answered and I was caught by a wonderful surprise.

Matt's speech development

At 2 years of age he still hasn't uttered his first word. Something that's been quite unsettling for us for a while now but we've always been told that it's too early to tell if something is wrong. Early this year we finally got on the same page with his pediatrician and Matt was sent to rehabilitation. He started his speech therapy this year. In time I will be able to write about this in detail.

I gave birth and we are now a family of four

Yes! One month ago. I chose and worked to have a gentle birth this time. Boy was it such an empowering experience. Right now we are past the transition stage, especially for Matt, and slowly easing in to our new normal with the new baby. It's that period of long nights with interrupted sleep, but I am loving every minute of it. I will have to make the most of my "nesting with baby" because pretty soon I'll be going back to work.

Maybe I had a different purpose for starting a blog before. Which is why it was so hard for me to write regularly. I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I want to do it for myself this time. This blog will be my journal to remind me someday of these special moments and milestones with my family, I'm glad I chose to keep it. And the three above will be only the beginning, the intro's to our new chapter. Let me start again...

What To Expect When You're Expecting

During the seven straight years of my being a full-time career woman, I've gone through inconsistent lines of job in different and totally unrelated industries. This means learning the process from scratch every time. Unfortunately, I have this academic notion that in order for me to fully understand what I will be doing and be able to do it right, I need to go back to the very basic (read every material I can get my hands on) and a classroom training is a must (of course this is not always the case in most companies I've worked for). 

So imagine me being pregnant for the first time. The only reference I had available was my Mom who have been in this situation 24 long years prior. I'm not saying she wasn't any help at all, I couldn't ask for a better support and only Moms can give that. But as always, what I needed was something to read, something I can bookmark and go back to in the very likely event that my "pregnancy brain" takes over. So a trip to the bookstore was in order to look for the best pregnancy book, and off we went. Boy were there so much to choose from! And most of them a bit pricey, mind you. Until I came across the fourth edition of What To Expect When You're Expecting by Heidi Murkoff

Now I wasn't very impressed the first time I opened it as it was printed in two columns per page. Didn't bother to actually read a few lines before passing on judgement. I thought it more like the textbooks medical students use and would be such a bore for me to read all 586 pages. So it more or less did not make the shortlist. Not until I've made a few more scouting (both here in Malaysia and in the Philippines), saw it in a Facebook friend's album, saw the very timely movie (I'm not sure I can call it an adaptation), and gave it a short read did I decide that it's probably the best one available. Well, I was not disappointed.

A line from the foreword by Dr. Charles J. Lockwood, MD pretty much describes it the best:

"In a way, my job is a lot like your pregnancy will probably be--every day will bring a little adventure, but most of them will be fun. What To Expect When You're Expecting is like having a personal obstetrician to guide you through that adventure."

And it is!

Reading it equips every soon-to-be-mom with all the information she needs to make it through nine months of pregnancy and beyond. It is presented in such a way that it's very easy to understand with a touch of humor to make reading it enjoyable.

Not only does it guide you from the onset of conception but even before if you are only in the planning stage. It provides details on preconception preparations for both the mom and the dad, how to eat properly, what kinds of supplements are best to take, as well as pointers in choosing the right prenatal practitioner. I had half a mind planning our next baby as early as now while reading it!

Each pregnancy symptom is described. What you may be going through each month that are perfectly normal and certainly saves you the worry and unscheduled trips to the doctor (bleeding nose and gums, heartburn, nausea--name it, I think I got all in the list). And those that you need to take care not to get as it could be a symptom of a complication.

Of course, this doesn't mean that all symptoms stated in the book are applicable to every pregnant woman. As the author is always careful to remind the readers, every pregnancy is unique and when in doubt, calling and discussing your concerns with your obstetrician is still the best.

Separate chapters are also available tackling multiple pregnancies ("Twins, Triplets and More"), postpartum, managing a complicated pregnancy as well as one specially dedicated for dads (they're expectant too!). I couldn't have found a more complete reference than this.

Just like when starting a new job, reading What To Expect When You're Expecting gave me the confidence that I will not only be doing my first pregnancy right, but also when we're ready to try again for the next--in the not so near future.

Photo by MoniFoto.net, Flickr

The Next Chapter

I lived with my mom and younger brother before I got married, for the longest time it was just the three of us. Being the eldest, my mom relied on me to help with the finances at home. And so work was very important in the sense that the fixed monthly salary must come first before job satisfaction. Establishing a career in one industry was a rare opportunity as I would accept employment in high-paying companies regardless of the position or job description. So don’t be surprised when I say that I’m a B.S. Accountancy graduate who ended up working as a Project Manager in the telecommunications industry. Don’t get me wrong, i don’t have any regret and I will do anything for my family.

Handling more than five projects in the office while preparing for your dream wedding was no small feat, turned out I was not an excellent multi-tasker. Needless to say, much of the wedding details had to be taken cared of at the last possible schedule or fully entrusted to our coordinators. This got me into a lot of “I wish I had” and “if only I had” moments even months after our big day. You only get to walk down the aisle once after all.

The realization that I had to choose between my IT career and my new family life struck two months before the wedding. And so I tendered my resignation and was ready to face a whole new chapter that was about to unfold. Thank God for my mom who also wants what’s best for me and was very supportive of my decision.

positive result in my HPT

Two months after we tied the knot, we received an unexpected but very much thanked for news: I’m six weeks PREGNANT! I was in the Philippines and my husband was in Malaysia at the time so I had to wake him up and surprise him over the phone at 6:00 in the morning. I was already half-expecting the result of the home pregnancy test but it did not immediately sink in until I heard the confirmation from the doctor. Good thing my mom has a very flexible schedule and was able to accompany me to the obstetrician’s clinic the same day.

And then it hit me, I do not have a single clue of what we are about to go through. No idea what must be done next or how a pregnant woman is supposed to act. Multiple questions ran through my head as I have only ever heard of pregnancy stories from the movies I’ve seen or from parent friends. I didn’t know where to start.

baby's very first ultrasound at 6 weeks and 4 days (March 19, 2012)

I already have my mind made up on one thing though: This may not be a once in a lifetime only chance for us, but I for sure want to go through the entire pregnancy experience. From the nauseating stages of the first trimester to the exciting name picking and baby shower of the third. Never again will I say “I wish I had” and “if only I had”. My husband and I will go through the whole process together and how best can we spend the first year of our marriage than preparing for our little one?

my baby bump at 26 weeks (August 2, 2012)

I’m in my 3rd trimester now and so far, everything is going as planned.