Let Me Start Again

* This post was meant to be published back in early December 2015, but blogging had to take a backseat with everything going on. Read on and you'll find out why :) *

Whew! I can't believe that I'm publishing a brand new entry to my blog after almost a year! It's been a while. And if you look at the last post below, CHANGES is an understatement. 2015 has been a game changer year for our small family. Both the good and the bad.

I got pregnant

I'm a firm believer that the Lord is always listening. He knows what's in our heart of hearts and he will grant our wishes as He sees fit. Again, we were not planning on it. But I must have been unconsciously praying for a new baby. I remember it being always on my mind. I would always find myself thinking that my heart has more than enough room for another one. Matt's sibling. And without directly praying for it, He answered and I was caught by a wonderful surprise.

Matt's speech development

At 2 years of age he still hasn't uttered his first word. Something that's been quite unsettling for us for a while now but we've always been told that it's too early to tell if something is wrong. Early this year we finally got on the same page with his pediatrician and Matt was sent to rehabilitation. He started his speech therapy this year. In time I will be able to write about this in detail.

I gave birth and we are now a family of four

Yes! One month ago. I chose and worked to have a gentle birth this time. Boy was it such an empowering experience. Right now we are past the transition stage, especially for Matt, and slowly easing in to our new normal with the new baby. It's that period of long nights with interrupted sleep, but I am loving every minute of it. I will have to make the most of my "nesting with baby" because pretty soon I'll be going back to work.

Maybe I had a different purpose for starting a blog before. Which is why it was so hard for me to write regularly. I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I want to do it for myself this time. This blog will be my journal to remind me someday of these special moments and milestones with my family, I'm glad I chose to keep it. And the three above will be only the beginning, the intro's to our new chapter. Let me start again...

When It's Time For Change-s

They say that the only permanent thing in this world is CHANGE. But what would you do if life throws you about three of them in a span of one month? And these are not minor changes like rearranging your furniture or updating your entire wardrobe, but to your way of life which requires hard-core decision making and planning? I would advice you to take it one step at a time, relax, do not overwhelm yourself and enjoy the process. Well, I can't say I practice what I preach now can I? Here's what happened...

A Filipino friend who is working in the same company as I am offered me a career opportunity I can't let pass: to be able to transfer to a department where I will be able to practice my true line of expertise. I won't be going back to being an actual accountant but it will be close enough and I couldn't be more excited! Of course there's a catch, or "catches", which will produce a domino effect.

Catch # 1

I needed to move to day shift and follow normal local working hours. Now this may not seem to be a "catch" really. But considering our current situation here in Malaysia wherein I took a job at night so Jason and I can take turns in being with Matt, we had to find a whole new set-up and make it work. So unless my husband works from home, there's no other option but to hire a nanny who can look after Matt while we're away during the day. As a big portion of Filipino workers in this country are house helpers and most of them are always on the lookout for part-time jobs, looking for one is not the issue. The additional expense of getting one is. Here it costs us about four or five times what it normally would if we were back home and that's already the cheapest. They normally charge more if they shouldered the cost of their work permit themselves.

Monetary reasons aside, getting a nanny also meant that I had to put my trust in a complete stranger. Our son, whom we have only ever left to the care of his grandmothers or other family members, will have to spend hours every weekday with a caregiver we've met only once (during her interview). It's a different kind of anxiety and even now, two months later, I'm still not used to the idea that another person is managing my son's daytime activities in ways other than my own. I refuse to relent? What kind of mom does?

Catch # 2

The team that I have joined holds office in a different building that is about 40 kilometers away from my previous site. The travel time from our place in Kuala Lumpur to the old building was 1.5 hours each way but the commute was rather easy and convenient due to the connecting train lines and on-schedule public buses. However, whether I take the bus or the train or a combination of both, going to and from the new site will take me a minimum of 2.5 hours each way. That lessens my precious time with my family by 2 hours more! We then decided to move to a new home closer to the office. So on top of resetting my body clock, adjusting to a new work environment, recalculating the household budget and orienting the nanny, we will have to pack, move and unpack. And we all know that cannot be done in just a day.

Pause... Breathe...

I may sound ranting through all this. But at the end of every day since it all started, it gets me thinking, much greater than these "catches" is the abundance of blessings the Lord has showered my family. I now get to come to work and enjoy what I do. The long lost sense of fulfillment is back each time I finish a task. I now get to cuddle with my boys in bed at night, nurse my son to sleep, kiss him goodnight and cuddle with him again in the morning. I am again the last one he sees before he closes his eyes, and the first one he sees when he wakes up. Moments that are all too precious because he will grow up sooner than I think.

Having a nanny also means that Jason and I get more "us" time. We get to go on dates more often now and be like boyfriend and girlfriend again. Cheesy, I know, but having time to ourselves has never been more important than right now. When we can easily get caught up in our work, errands and responsibilities in general.

Our "this is it" barefoot dance when we found our new home.

Moving to a new house is definitely a lot of work in the beginning but once the last of the boxes has been unpacked, I get to use my almost non-existent decorating skills. I never knew it could be so tedious yet fun at the same time! Now, I totally get my mom when she's all worked up in the home section of a department store. How she always seem rooted to the spot examining a vase that she's been holding for the past 10 minutes. I realized it's not simply getting a piece of decor and placing it on an empty shelf in your living room. You will need to think about it's design, color, functionality, practicality. Oh this part could probably take up a whole new post.

Ultimately, changes can be very daunting. Especially when you have to deal with a lot at the same time. But in my case, having my husband to go through it all with me has been my saving grace. He has always been my rock, my support system and my shock absorber. And this is probably the most important of all. The feeling that whatever upheaval my little family may go through, in whatever state or country we find ourselves in, we will forever have each other.

Photo credit

Family Picnic: Perdana Botanical Garden

Living in an apartment building in a city like Kuala Lumpur does not offer much opportunity for little kids like Matt to simply go out of the house and play. The exact opposite of how it was for me growing up in a (then) small and peaceful neighborhood in a town in Laguna when all I had to do was step out of our front door to get to my "playground". Here, today, an outdoor activity for Matt has to be scheduled and planned. And since we live near the city center, options are very limited.

A picnic at a park is most ideal where Matt can run around in fresh air, on a vast space of grass under the sun without us having to worry that he'll trip and fall on hard ground. And since it very much feels like summer here at this time of year, a family picnic will be such a refreshing break from our typical indoor routines on weekdays.

The KLCC Park was the first to come to mind but it's too crowded for our liking, not exactly the relaxed vibe we were looking for. I know the city has a hidden gem somewhere and we just needed to find it. After several search results from the ever reliable Google, we found exactly what we were looking for: Perdana Botanical Garden.

The Perdana Botanical Garden formerly known as Taman Tasik Perdana or Lake Gardens, is situated in the Heritage Park of Kuala Lumpur. It has always been a part of the green lung of the city and has a history of over a decade. Originally created as part of a recreational park but planted with collections of tropical plants, the garden have been rehabilitated and turned into a Botanical Garden. The garden have not only botanical collections but also house features that give the visitors the ambiance of being in a tropical rainforest, despite being in the middle of a bustling metropolis.

Located within the Tun Abdul Razak Heritage Park, it was only a 10-minute drive from our place and the outside parking is free. Visitors can also go by taking public buses or taxis from any point of the city. It is open everyday from 7:00 AM to 8:00 PM and the entrance is also free! Due to the enormity of the place, we had to make sure that we head direct to an entrance nearest the part where we want to spend the most time in. That's the kiddie playground. We arrived at around 4:00 PM, thinking that it would be cool enough at that hour. Boy, were we wrong!

 The Children's Playground is the first you'll see if you enter the garden from Jalan Parlimen. The kiddie structures are complete with tunnel slides sprouting from mini towers, a bridge, swing sets and seesaws.

Matt was already wriggling out of my grasp even before we found a place to spread our picnic blanket so Jason had to take him play while I set up.

We didn't do the typical spread on the grass because our blanket was too thin. But there are picnic tables every few yards as well as gazebos. Although the latter are more for when you want to rest under a shade rather than meals because the tables inside are a bit small.

It was still rather hot when we arrived so we had to really scour the area first for a good spot to eat. And what we found was not bad at all. We settled on a picnic table by the lake under tall trees. Rays of sun were still peeking through the tree leaves above but the air was cool and we felt light breeze every now and then. You don't really need to come fully prepared with your own meal though as a cafe serves light snacks and refreshments.

After our meal of spaghetti, bread and fruits, Matt run around for a bit in the Sunken Garden. Funny how my Dad used to say that however hard or long you prepare for an event, a trip or anything for that matter, there's always one thing that you're bound to miss. In this case, we forgot to check the batteries of Matt's bubble machine so it didn't work when we were there. I think it was just as well because he was able to explore the greenery around him. He didn't even pay attention to his big beach ball that we brought.

The whole garden spans over about 92 hectares of land so it's really not possible to see its entirety in just one afternoon. But we were able to sightsee as far as our feet were able to take us and with enough energy for the walk back. A lake weaves around the park so you'll find a couple of small bridges over them such as the one above. It looks pretty romantic, don't you think?

Walking or jogging trails are all around for those who seek a refreshing and peaceful workout. As it is in the heart of Kuala Lumpur, it is easy for residents of the city to drive over for a quick run. And for families with children, this is a nice and safe place to teach kids how to ride their bikes as no cars are allowed inside the premises.

Trees along the walking paths are labeled with its names and origins. Perfect for children to learn about nature first-hand.

A large area of sloping pavement covered by a ceiling of symmetrical glass-like panels can be found in the center of the garden. At first we thought it was the amphitheatre but a closer look at the map in their website told us otherwise. Kids and adults alike use the spot for physical activities such as rollerblading or riding their scooters. Bicycles are also available for rent to visitors at RM 3 each for 30 minutes. Yup, that's Jason pushing Matt in the stroller who's already tired from all the running.

But my favorite spot of all would be the dock overlooking what they call the Goose Island (see three geese floating by?). It seems to be such a relaxing spot to just sit and have nice long talk with a friend or in my case, Jason. How amazing is it that while you are surrounded by all the green and fresh air and nature, you can also see the opposite ambiance of the urban world just beyond? The best of both world of sorts. After this weekend, we're definitely looking forward to new discoveries of the city we call home for now.